Saturday, August 22, 2015

Upcoming Reading!

Hi there, my Dangerlings!

I got an upcoming reading on September 1st at the Jade Lounge in Portland, Oregon. The show is called The Hour That Stretches and will feature some new absurdist meta-fiction by me. And not only that, the one and only Garrett Cook will be reading there too! I'll even have some books with me for sale! It's gonna be a lot of fun! If you can come out, PLEASE DO.

For more details, stop being lazy and google that shit. Or click below for the Facebook event page:


That is all for now. Thanks, kids!

~ Danger!

Monday, July 13, 2015

A Flash Fiction/Interview! And Upcoming Appearances!

Hellllllllllo ladies! And also gentlemen. And also not-so-gentlemen.

Here's what's going on:

Had a piece of flash fiction and an interview that ran on Kevin Strange's blog as a part of his new series he's calling 'Flash Me Fiction'. Essentially, I wrote a piece of flash called JUNE, and then Kevin asked me a few questions based off of the story. In true form, I regard most of those question with completely asinine answers. Again, here's the links:


Next up, I've got two appearances scheduled.

The first is a reading at G-Mart Comics on August 1st in Chicago. It's part of the Bizarro Hour organized by Michael Allen Rose, and if you've ever seen any of their shows before, it promises to be a fun and funny time. We start at 8, so if you're in the area, COME ON BY!

Here is the Facebook event page for the Bizarro Hour with all relevant information.

And finally, you can catch me at the ScareLA convention in...well..Los Angels. That is August 8th and 9th. I'll be boozing and schmoozing and if you're there, come up say HI to me and make me feel like a big shot!

Here's the Facebook page for ScareLA.

Both these "appearances" are a part of a 2 week cross country trip I will be on as I relocate from New Jersey to Portland, OR. Hopefully, my tires will stay inflated and the cops will regard my out-of-state plates with kindness.

That's all that's new in my world. Things will probably be picking up around here soon. There's a new novel that is quickly coming down the pike (should be available through Fungasm Press in October) and I have a few readings/performances slated for when I get to Portland, but I'm not sure of the dates yet.

Later lovelies!


Monday, June 8, 2015

This is the Last Time I Call Jeremy Maddux a Punk-Ass Bitch!

My Dearest, Most Beautiful Readers,

The FINAL chapter in the epic six-month-long battle between Jeremy Maddux and I is up for your listening pleasure over at Surreal Sermons

IF you haven't paid any attention (and I know you haven't!) this is the episode for you. 7 or 8 phone calls later, the misunderstanding that spilled over into real life, involving our friends, lovers, and even our MOTHERS, finally comes to a close! Herein lie the beginning and the end, in chronological order, with color commentary from listeners who wanted to weigh in on the whole ordeal. 

If you loved me, you'd listen to this episode right now.


Your Best Friend, 


Sunday, April 26, 2015

Texas Frightmare Weekend!

People of the Internet,

Heading out tomorrow to Dallas, Texas for a few days of fun before Texas Frightmare Weekend (May 1- May 3). I'll be at the Rooster Republic Press/Strangehouse Books table, getting drunk and trying to sell some of my books, So if you're going to be in the Dallas area or happen to be going to the convention, let me know. I'll sign your books. We can hang out. I'll let you buy me a beer.


Saturday, February 14, 2015

Things That Have Happened!

Here's what's happened in the last month:

1. The very talented bizarro-Lothario Garrett Cook wrote a little article back in early January in which he said that I was an 'author to look out for in 2015.' Whether that's true or not, it was a very kind and unexpected gesture from him and it gave me the warm-fuzzies when I read it.


2. I also made another appearance on Jeremy Maddux's Surreal Sermons podcast, where we once again yell at each other. This Maddux dude has got a real bug up his butt. And now my real-life mother and best girl Lisa are involved too. I don't know what kinds of twists and turns this saga is going to take, but things are escalating quickly.


3. I also don't know if I made this announcement earlier, but it is official, so I suppose I should mention it: I (along with Kirk Jones) have been doing acquisitions/slush reading for Rooster Republic Press since last November. That means, if you want to pitch a book or send a manuscript to Rooster Republic, you can either talk to me, Kirk, or send it to the submissions email at

4. I HAVE FINISHED WRITING A NEW BOOK. A full-length novel, to be specific. There is no other news to report besides that, as I just finished writing it right before I made this blog update you are currently reading. But it is a HUGE relief and accomplishment whenever anything (especially lengthier things) are completed. So THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT to the three people in the world who actually support me. The rest of you can go ahead and DROWN YOURSELVES IN A SWIMMING POOL FULL OF DICKS!

As far as pimping goes, this time around I'm going to repay the favor and pimp my favorite Time Pimp:


He just released a new book HERE.

He also teaches a cheap online bizarro workshop which I hear (from the people who have taken it) is quite informative and interesting.

He also does professional editing for bizarro/horror/any type of book for, what in all actuality, is only a nominally small price.

This is the dude who's book beat my book for a Wonderland Award. So you know you're in good hands. If you are at all serious about writing and confused about where to begin or what to do, I highly suggest using Garrett's services. You won't be disappointed. If you are disappointed, well, then as I've already said, PLEASE RESUMING DROWNING YOURSELF IN THE AFOREMENTIONED SWIMMING POOL OF DICKS!

That is all for now.

~ Danger!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014



This is my last post of 2014, which isn't saying much because I rarely update this blog. But I should update more. I do little things all over the place that you may want to check out, and if you're not my friend on Facebook, you'd have no way of knowing it.

So here's what's been going on with me over the past two weeks, for your entertainment pleasure:

1. Another guest appearance on Jeremy Maddux's podcast Surreal Sermons. It's not an interview or anything like that. We basically just argue with each other for the first five minutes of the show after he found out I rejected his 'Pinata story' from Rooster Republic Press.

2. Speaking of Rooster Republic Press, they had me on as the contestant for the third episode of their bad game show, aptly called The Bad Game Show. Other guests included Justin Grimbol and Michael Allen Rose. It's basically 20 minutes of nonstop sexual confession. Those two guys are perverted as FUCK! Link here just in case the embedded video below doesn't work.

3. Lastly, Lady Terminator herself, my good friend Erika Instead, let me do a guest blog post on her B-movie blog she does for Living Dead Magazine. We watched a movie called Mutantis and it's pretty much exactly what you'd be a movie called Mutantis to be about. It's a funny blog for often-overlooked movies.

And I believe last post I said I was gonna start sticking recommendations in with each post? Did I say that? Well, regardless, I'm  going to. And my first recommendation is going to be of Michael Allen Rose's band Flood Damage. They're an industrial rock band from Chicago and they KICK-ASS. I wrote a review for their new album Instruction for the Assembly of God(s) and since there's like NOWHERE GOOD to stick a goddamn music review other than iTunes, I'm gonna copy and paste it right here:

Spooky. Kooky. All together ooky.

This is FUN music. A pop-industrial album that is gritty enough to grind you to pieces in its mechanical jaws, yet catchy enough to make you want to nod your head to the beat while you’re getting eaten alive.

Yes, this is a robot dance party hosted by the Devil and attended exclusively by a bunch of sexy, tattooed chicks all lezzing out on each other. You know what I mean?

You don’t?

Look, is there an accurate way to describe music without sound trite or derivative? People always do that "well it kinda sounds like" thing when they talk about bands: Well it kinda sounds like Ministry. Well it kinda sounds like Skinny Puppy. Well it kinda sounds like Frank Sinatra if he were a possessed blender on a mission to have sex with every appliance in the world. But what does any of that even MEAN?

I like the kind of music that paints pictures. Lyrical content aside, I dig sounds. Atmospheres. That intangible part of a song that hits you somewhere deep. The way words in a book build a world in your head, a good song, or album, can do the same. And this album certainly does just that! At times it’s like the soundtrack to some crazy supernatural slasher movie. At other times, it might be what the DJ is spinning at a vampire dance club blood orgy, like that awesome scene in Blade 2. At other points it strikes like lightning out of a matte silver cloud. And still at other points it lumbers along like a blind giant’s feet, stomping across the dirty landscape of a coal-stained city plucked straight out of some reimagined Victorian distopia. That’s what I was SEEING in my mind while I listened to Instructions for the Assembly of God(s). That's what these sounds gave me. But even with all the ATMOSPHERE that this music brings, you won’t find any lithe ambient noises tiptoeing around like a curious caterpillar. It’s not THAT kind of atmosphere I'm talking about! Instead you'll get only loud, crunchy guitars and heart-attack fast drums and ethereal, ghostly vocals the stalk you like a jilted wind. These aren’t lullabies to put you to sleep. This stuff will get you moving. Bobbing your head. Punching your mom. This album ROCKS. 

Standout track: SeXXXee (is this a George Michael homage?!)

That is all for now, person who decided to actually read all this shit and maybe click a few links. Have a great day. Enjoy life. Enjoy pizza. 


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

New Flash Fiction and a New Audio Interview!

Hi fuckers!

That wasn't nice. I didn't mean to call you fuckers. I love you guys.

Here's some updates:

New (free) flash fiction available at Bizarro Central. It's called AN ALPHABETICAL LIST OF EVERY WOMAN I'VE EVER SLEPT WITH. It's exactly what it sounds like. Or is it? Click the link.

Also, I did an interview with my Stranger Danger buddy Kevin Strange for Adam Millard's new radio show Bizarro UK:


That's about that for current updates.

I've been toying with the idea of actually staying up to date with this thing. Maybe doing a weekly update. Just letting everyone know what I've been up to and what cool shit some of my writer friends are up to that you might want to check out. As it is, I've just been using this blog as a 'link dump' to keep track of all my shit I've put out there in the world. What do you people think? Should I update this thing more? Does anyone even read this? Do you want to see my dick?

Other than that,


~ Danger